Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are

I remember it like it was yesterday. I was in my chemistry class in grade 10 and I reflected on my academic situation at the time. I was getting mediocre grades and I did not have a plan for my life in general. I thought about the friends I had and realized that all my friends were in the same predicament. It was then and there that I realized that I had to form a new peer group. I decided that I needed to form friendships with people who were not only doing well in school, but also had a sense of purpose and direction.

It was Vladimir Lenin who said “show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are”. Jim Rohn put it a little differently, he said, “you are the average of five of the people you spend the most time with.” It is a well known fact that those closest to us have a profound impact on not only what we accomplish in life, but also our world-view.

If you are not satisfied with your current academic standing, it may be time to consider changing the friends you associate with. Yes, this will be difficult to do, because you share a bond with those closest to you. However, if you are now at a place in your life where you are serious about achieving academic excellence, then you need to be around like minded people. 

After that grade 10 chemistry class, my thoughts led to action and I slowly started to pull away from my friends who were nonchalant about their academic future. I made friends with the students who were doing well. What I found was that I still experienced peer pressure from my new circle of friends, but it was now positive peer pressure. All the individuals in my new circle of friends were getting good grades and getting good grades was our group identity. What eventually happened was that I found myself working hard to keep up with the achievements of those in the group. At first my grades were below those of my newly found group of friends. But as I was encouraged to work harder and harder, my grades were eventually on par, and from time to time I would get the top grade among those in the group.

My identity changed and I began to view myself differently, I was now an academic. This new identity served me well and as I transitioned into university. It caused by to tackle academic challenges with unwavering confidence. I was able to finish undergraduate and postgraduate studies with flying colours and all this would not have been possible if I didn’t make the decision to change my peer group in grade 10.

If you want to succeed academically, one of the best things you can do is to hangout with people who are at the place that you want to be academically. You will find that their traits will rub off on you and you will begin to perform at their level. Peer pressure can be a good thing, just ensure that the pressure you are receiving serves you well.